lancerusfandomcom-20200213-history
The Orcs Vs. Ben Spaygos
There are only four men that have bested the orc leader Burfi’iz, one of them was the valiant Siegfried Harpier. Siegfried was strong knight from Oden who had trained many years to best the orc warlord. He had learned the art of defense from the dwarves of the Iron Mountains, his offense from the goblins of K’za, and his strategy from the high elves of Lindala. After defeating Burfi’iz, he asked for the orcs to offer assistance to the Oden military in the Battle of the Forge. Burfi’iz reluctantly accepted, and his orcs were then used to win the Battle of the Forge. The next to defeat him was an elf named Dirta Bihcson, who used his bow to attack Burfi’iz as he retreated backwards at speeds that the orc leader could not match. Dirta was know as the “Lightning Bow,” because he could shoot ten arrows in three seconds. After Burfi’iz was incapacitated Dirta asked for a large sum of gold to pay for his family’s safety from a mercenary group he betrayed. With the money, he retired with his loved ones to the safe innards of Lindala and died of old age happily. The third to best Burfi’iz was a dwarven woman named Bissy. Not much is known about Bissy, but it has been said that she was “extremely combat ready” and completely took him by surprise. He was almost so ashamed of his loss that he had her held at knife point by several of his guards, but after careful consideration he allowed her the one wish she deserved. She just wished for the strongest weapon the orcs had. Burfi’iz gave her a hammer twice her size, and from the rumors being spread, she seems to be tearing the black mountains apart by storm. The last person to defeat Burfi’iz was a man of immense skill and strategy. A man whose looks are unrivaled except by his late mother and father. A man who no one can deny is most reliable on the field and in the sheets. A man who has never been denied and never loses a fair fight. Of course, his definition of a “fair fight” seems to change from time to time, usually befitting to whatever opponent defeats hims. He is a man who needs no introduction, and yet insists that he introduces himself with his full title. Yes, the last to defeat Burfi’iz is none other than Ben Spaygos, master of atlases, lord of the maps. Burfi’iz is one of the strongest warriors of his time. He was born in an orc tribe in the north-western side of the wastes. Orc tribes aren’t known for their political influence, but this one in particular struck a note with the leaders of the armies of Lindala, as the size of this tribe was so immense that one could walk for days in any direction and still be inside the orc barracks. The sheer amazement the elven scouts displayed was worth a story of its own. When they returned, Lindala swiftly halted all plans to expand east, and decided instead to attempt to take the Iron Mountains, thus starting the Battle of the Forge. However, the orc tribe is also very honorable when it comes to battle, since not many challenge them. This is a tradition that spans all the way back to the Second Age, where if a fighter defeats the tribe’s leader, they are granted one favor by the tribe. Once this challenge was instituted, many tried to complete it. Many fell before the leaders of the tribes. Some believe that there was an obscene amount of foul play in these fights, as only one non-orc is allowed to view or partake at a time. There have been 20 victors in the history of Ura, and each say that it was one of the most honorable fights they have ever fought. Well, all accept me, Ben Spaygos, master of atlases, lord of the maps. While I was travelling around Ura for a nice vacation, I stumbled upon the orc tribe’s encampment. Well, maybe stumbled isn’t the correct term, as that implies that I could’ve not noticed it. And encampment isn’t justifiable either, as it was more of a grand party that included the murder of innocent little chickens and multiple games of charades, strangely enough. Either way it was humongous and I felt like the only human for miles. As I approached, guards held their weapons ready for battle at me and one screamed “Halt! You realize you are entering Por’wa territory, human?” I thought fast and responded “Ah, now I do! So this is the territory of Por’wa. I thought this was a gathering of orcs that hate the comfort of a warm bed.” The guards all looked at each other in amazement, as they had never seen a human that was unafraid of their numbers like me. “What business do you have here, human?” one inquired. “Well, orc, I would like to see your leader so that we can trade berries, nuts, seeds, etc. You know, big boy things.” I replied, I lower my hands to show my strong leadership quality. The orcs all lower their weapons as I hear one of them scream something in orcish. It must’ve been a good response as I think they’re granti- … … … I awaken in a tent with my head surging with pain. A welt is firmly placed on the back of my head. The orcs may not have been as polite and understanding as I thought. Perhaps one of them threw a rock at me while I wasn’t looking, or maybe I just had no spatial reasoning whatsoever and there had been a couple stray orcs that had snuck up behind me while I was intimidating their guards. How dirty of them, I can almost see the dirt clouds from the slits in the front of the tent. An orc woman enters the tent, a medic of sorts. While orc woman aren’t known for their good looks, this one looked exceptionally better than the others, but at most it would be a four on a scale from one to ten. “You are fine, human. It was just a rock. You don’t have any impairments.” She said to me caringly. It was a rock, good. My spatial reasoning is no longer in question. “Are you the Por’wa leader?” I asked surprised. How foolish of me, I knew that orcs only elect men as their leaders, but I was hoping that I would have a much easier time getting out of here alive if this tribe weren’t misogynistic. She scoffed, “You lack knowledge of our history, human.” Not true as I previously stated. ”We only have male leaders. We Por’wa are strong, like mountain.” “I can see that, as I have a bruise on my head. Mountains bruise easily.” She giggles and replies flirtatiously, “Well, your looks and wit are certainly still intact.” Not good, I seem to have accidentally courted an orc woman. I have to think fast if I’d like to leave with my with my genitals unscathed. “I have to use the bathroom.” I blurt out in desperation. She nods her head and says “Of course.” She leaves looking back with a red face. I survive a sensual onslaught, for now. I look around the tent to get a bearing of my surroundings. I am bounded by the arms to the center pole of the tent, so first I had to work on the ropes. I see an axe lying in the corner of the tent next to a stack of small crates. My feet could barely kick the boxes, so I stretched my body to its farthest possible length and reach for the top of the box stack. I gave it a good kick and the top box stumbles down onto the axe which in turn fell over right next to me. Perfect, I then shuffled the axe over to my hands and sliced the ropes to free myself. I grab Abstineo from the corner and peer out of the tent. Outside of the tent, all I can see is a flat plain. Its midnight, and yet it seems to be lit by torches. This is awfully strange, but I have to escape. I flip open the tent flap and step out into the night. Immediately I regret the decision. Thousands of orcs with torches surround my tent and fill the field behind me. My god it was like a Larkenvale painting, never have I been so afraid and awestruck in my life. I turn full circle to find rhyme or reason to this situation. All the orcs slowly encroach on me as I spin, so I naturally run forward towards the hole in the field. As I turn my head to face the direction I’m running I see the largest equestrian army i’ve ever seen. Orcs. Orcs on horses. It is quite a rare sight, seeing so many orcs on horses. One of the horses is adorned with armor and a banner with a hawk eating a shrew. It was very clear that this was the leader of the Por’wa. The orcs begin to chant a name. “Burfi’iz, Burfi’iz, Burfi’iz!” I see the impending battle approaching. I think quickly and take a battle stance. The leader rides ahead and dismounts his horse. He slowly walks up to me and holds up his arms, as if he knew it would gather a response. It did, the orcs go absolutely crazy and throw torches into the circle, the same circle that is still slowly shrinking, pushing me and the orc closer together. The orc points at me and pulls out a scimitar and screams “YOU! HUMAN! You want to challenge me?!” I never recalled challenging him, perhaps I gave off a very intimidating vibe, which I often do give. “That depends. Who is asking?” I ask. “I am Burfi’iz, the leader of the Por’wa orc tribe. You have challenged me, and if you defeat me I will grant you one request. Whatever it is, the Por’wa will do it.” He had a very intellectual way of talking, and yet there was something so barbaric about his stance that made him seem even more powerful. I attempted to calm the waters. “Whoa whoa whoa Fizzy, I never challenged you to anything. All I did was walk up and say hi. He laughs loudly, followed by a chorus of laughter from his subordinates. Burfi’iz looks at me slightly angered. “DId you not say you wanted to talk to me about ‘big boy stuff’?” Oh boy, it seems my silver tongue turned into a steel noose. “The rules are simple, fight until you give up. You versus me.” Burfi’iz readies his sword “On your call.” I count down from twenty, a strangely high number at the time, but in retrospect it gave me twenty seconds to inspect his weak spots and the strategies I could take. ' ' “20…” His armor seems to be made of something that isnt quite steel. It may give if I hit it hard enough with Abstineo. “19…” Or perhaps I should just aim for his head. He lacks a helmet so his cranium will suffice for a sheath to my blade. “18…” I need to watch out for his dexterity. He seemed to have ridden that horse with sufficient skill. He may be more skilled with a sword than others I have fought. “17…” Wait, I need to check my surroundings. I don’t want another rock situation like the one I had earlier. “16…” The orcs are very tight around me, I only have maybe five or six steps before I am within range of their axes. “15…” My hands are sweaty, I’ve never been in a situation like this. There’s so much energy, so much hatred, so much bloodlust. I could get used to this feeling. “14…” I don’t really know what kind of approach I should take against this opponent. “13…” Maybe I should run around and try to drain him of his energy and strike while the iron is hot. “12…” Maybe this is actually a test. I didn’t challenge them, perhaps I’m dreaming. After all, that rock could’ve hit me pretty hard. “11…” No, this energy is too real. I’m afraid that I can’t use the dream excuse again. “10…” … Now that I think about it twenty seconds was too long. I’ll just go in. “1!” I sprint in at an alarming speed and Burfi’iz strikes just as fast. We run past each other and our blades make a wonderful clinging sound. His speed is most definitely fast, but my speed is some of the fastest in Ura. He can’t defeat me with his speed. I turn to go for a quick stab to his knee so that I can gain an advantage. He turns at the last second and leaps forward with his sword aimed for my heart. I turn my body so his scimitar barely misses my shirt, and I pull Abstineo back towards my body. My blade clips his arm as he lets out an instinctive warcry. His arm jerks in pain and hits my face hard, knocking me back. He uses my stumble as a chance to slice me in two. I quickly gain my head and spread my legs to preserve my goods from the cold scalpel that is his blade. I poke Abstineo into his shoulder before he can back away, and he shrieks in pain. I quickly get up to hold a defensive position as Burfi’iz gathers his thoughts. He laughs and yells “You have been taught well, Human. But that’s the last hit you will land on me.” He ricochets as a rock careens off his head. With another rock cocked in my left hand I retort “Okay, that was the last hit I’ll land on you.”. He yells in anger and sprints at me with one arm limp. I throw the second rock into the air and put both hands on Abstineo. Our swords clash as we hold each other’s blades in an eternal stalemate. His breath was bloody and very gross, but it was waining. I could tell that he was frustrated, he knew he might lose and he’d be damned if it was by my hands. I scream into his face to show him my game face, as I know what is going to happen next. He responds with a yell that is very much like what I think a dragon sounds like. But what happened next not even a dragon could expect. The same rock I dispelled into the air was lingering just above the area where his head currently resides. The yell was just my way of keeping him in place so the rock could hit its intended target. The rock hits his head with a large cracking sound, and his scream comes to a halt. His eyes go cross eyed as he droops to the ground. I look at his body slumped over itself. Strangely enough it looks just as strong as it did fully erected. I look out at the crowd, their jaws are to the ground. I hold my fist up to the sky. The crowd goes maniacal. The orcs storm me and throw me up on their shoulders, praising the new champion. I hold Abstineo high above the orcs, as if to say “I am your new leader!”. The orcs cheer the only thing they know about me “Human! Human! Human!”. I see the almost attractive orc lady at the edge of the crowd, lifting the rag covering her breasts for me. It was incredibly disatisfying and I almost wish I died that night so I didn’t have to see that sight. I spent that night in a very luxurious tent, or at least as luxurious as an orcish tent could be. Burfi’iz walks in saying my name, “Spaygos! The champion is awake finally!” Apparently after the battle we all got incredibly drunk and became great pals, I would tell you about it if i remembered it. “Burfi’iz! The orc of legend! How goes the morning?” “It goes well, my mind is very flooded with grog but don’t think I forgot about our fight last night. You have earned one favor of the Por’wa tribe!” “Ah of course! How could we forget that grand bout? I’ll be telling of it for decades! So about this request. I can get anything I ask for?” Burfi’iz nods “Of course, it’s a tribal tradition, and you’ve earned it Mr. Spaygos.” I scratch my chin and giggle “Well Mr. Burfi’iz, have you ever heard of the Deity Key?” Burfi’iz’s eyes widen.